Perhaps it was Summer-fever (or more likely the whiskey) but Elise opted to write this week’s review in Shakespearean Sonnet… (such an over-achiever).
A group of twelve, we headed east.
Ok! Eleven. But still, we traveled!
We’d heard the hype, ready to feast
But oh alas it quickly unraveled.
We sat upstairs, admiring the surrounds.
The menu looked good as we perused it.
We ordered drinks, just the first round.
If the mood was down, this improved it.
Three of the staff had to rush to a meeting
So they ordered their entrees right away
And blessedly their wait time was fleeting
Overall feeling on their meals? Hooray!
Apps for the rest of us arrived eventually
Looking good! At least, potentially!
Several orders of deviled eggs so fancy!
Each one unique with toppings galore
Most raved yummy! They make me feel dancy!
But the egg could be better, that’s what they’re for.
Hot fritters arrived of both broccoli and trout
Delicious but not as plentiful as the price would suggest.
More Bissell arrived when the bartender was about
Please notice my empty rocks glass, lest I protest.
The staff seemed limited, not their fault really.
We chatted and waited and enjoyed our hors d’oeuvres.
Can I get a refill on this please? Let’s not be silly.
Then the entrees arrived and the waitress serves
Fish and chips, burgers, and lobster rolls
Sweet potato wedges, sliders, and salads in bowls.
Multiple orders of arugula salad with goat cheese fritters
Were met with confusion over the cheese on top
“Kind of strange” reported one, like a mac & cheese critter
Reports of “Slimy mushy donuts” suggests goat glop.
The East End Beef Burger wins so much praise:
Dressed up and cooked to perfection medium rare
Sided with salt and vinegar fries the flavors amaze.
No complaints here on this omnivorous fare.
The lobster roll had lemon chive mayo
Lightly dressing the large lobster chunks
One said to find seasonings required Galileo
The other was quite pleased with how they flavored the hunks.
The sweet potato wedges with honey mustard sauce
Had just grainy mustard, definitely not boss.
The steak sliders had an awkward meat-to-bread proportion
It was reported though the flavors were very good.
The cocktails were all well mixed and of good portion
Though clearly we had mixed reviews on the food.
The East Ender may have been having a bad day
Or perhaps our palates are too dang refined
We wanted it to be awesome in the worst way
Since it had been, the last many of us had dined.
Overall the experience was not bad, per se
The food was very pretty and tasted pretty good
We just had such great expectations for that day
And left in a disappointed mood.
Perhaps we’ll try you again, The East Ender
For pumpkin bourbon some time this winter.
Most-Favorited Dish: Burger
Honorable Mention: Lobster Roll
About One Third of Page One employees would enthusiastically return to the East Ender.
Words Used by Our Team to Describe the Experience:
Address: 47 Middle Street, Portland, ME 04101
Hours: Monday-Thursday – 11:30am-10:00pm
Friday – 11:30am-11:00pm
Saturday – 10:30am-11:00pm
Sunday – 10:30am-10:00pm