El Rayo Taqueria

It was a dark and stormy night. I’d taken a creative writing class.

That’s when she walked into my life. Beautiful. Zesty. Deadly.
Her name was, El Rayo Taqueria.

Don't touch Emmie's food.

Don’t touch Emmie’s food.

I hung up my coat and ordered a stiff drink. Made of bee pollen, agave nectar, citrus juice, el Jimador Silver Tequila & Triple Sec, the Anti Venom promised to take the edge of a particularly stressful workweek. I sat down to take in the scene. The tables covered in plastic mariachi print were clean… maybe too clean. The chips were still warm and the guacamole decadent. The waitress came at me with a smile that could melt the ice in my heart.

I was hungry, maybe too hungry.

I knew something was amiss. That’s when I noticed it…Where were the plantains?

My eyes scanned the room, years of designing websites have honed my detective skills. I saw Max devouring the Papas Fritas, licking the sauce from his fingers. It couldn’t have been him, he was too invested in that magic dipping sauce. I turned my attention to the rookie, Erich, was he capable of such a crime? I’d known Erich from my old precinct, he was a straight shooter but sometimes, they come back to bite you. After some quick detective work, his story checked out, he was too busy with his Chicken Quesadilla to try and nab those sweet and salty plantains.

I checked in with our dispatcher Elise, code name Ruth Screwball, she was preoccupied with her gooey nachos and patiently waited for her pulled pork tacos to arrive, no beans about it, she wasn’t the bandit.

Could it be an inside job? I’d been a detective for a long time and seen a lot of things. But certainly it couldn’t have been my partner Shamus. We’d run too deep and solved too many cases together. But then again, was his giant Pollo burrito not enough to whet his appetite? Surely he knew how deep my love for plantains goes, he’d heard the story so many times, he could recite it by memory. Anyway, he was still back at the precinct. Could he have worked an inside job? Maybe he was in cahoots with the Trouble Trio Sisters, NoNo “Noella” Bordello, Tepid “Lauren” Moretti and Candy The Suit aka, Emmie. Could they have teamed up with Shamus to bring me down? The Trouble Trio sisters had been after me for poor usage of the H1 tag. I sipped my Anti Venom and went to investigate, it was time to turn up the heat but all Trio sisters swore their innocence. NoNo had the perfect alibi, the bubbling cheese from her cast iron Fundido Mushroom dish was still hot, it couldn’t of been them.

The "Trouble" Trio Sisters.

The “Trouble” Trio Sisters.

I was lost, who could of done such a thing? And then it hit me…

My gaze fell on Jeremy. Surely after all these years, he couldn’t be the mastermind behind “the Great Plantains Caper of 2014”. Sometimes it was hard to tell what lay beneath that beard. Sure, sometimes it masked a mere grin, but other times, I swore I saw the devil himself coming for me! I mustered my courage and sauntered towards his chair. He was lost in his Mexico City-Style Corn on the Cob and turning his eyes towards the Chili Dusted Pineapple with a ferocity akin to a hungry wolverine. It had to have been him…

I swallowed hard and was ready to make the bust when I saw something out of the corner of my eye. What was this sorcery? The plantains were right there on the table, as if nothing had happened! It was as if the sky parted and a sunbeam shone down on the center of the table. They glistened with salty-fried love.

I sat down and collected my thoughts. Someone must of caught on that I was hungry and willing to do anything for my favorite appetizer. I closed the case. My appetite was starting to take over, I bit in… and it was heaven.

– Eric

Fast Facts:
Most-Favorited Dish: BBQ Pulled Pork Taco
Honorable Mention: Chili-Dusted Pineapple
4/5 of Page One employees would enthusiastically return to El Rayo Taqueria

Words Used by Our Team to Describe the Experience:
El Okay-O

Restaurant Details:
Website: www.elRayoTaqueria.com
Address: 101 York St, Portland, ME 04101
Phone: 207-780-8226
Hours: Monday-Friday – 11:00am-9:00pm | Dinner 5pm-9:00pm
(El Rayo Cantina is open nightly from 5 – Midnight)

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